Trust is something that keeps coming up in my mind. There are times when I seriously think I’ve grown a ton in my faith to the point where I trust the Lord completely with myself and my present and future. But then something bad happens or I go through a struggle, a bump in the road, and it’s all lost. And then I realize how weak I truly am and how shallow my faith is. As soon as a hiccup occurs I start questioning everything and trying to put all the responsibility on myself.
This became apparent to me particularly last night after spending a day on retreat with my teens. I was overwhelmed at the end of the day with a huge sense of responsibility for the program and for the teens. I am leaving in a few short months and I am incredibly nervous to leave everything behind. I’m worried the teens won’t be taken care of, that they won’t have someone who is invested in them and in bringing them closer to Christ. At the end of the night I almost had a breakdown from the weight of the responsibility.
In that moment of overwhelming weakness I was reminded by a couple really wise people that it’s not my job to worry about what I can’t control. They reassured me that I am doing all that I can for these teens and that the Lord will use whatever I do. And then I received a challenge. I must trust the Lord with this. I can’t put it all on myself because it’s not something I have any control over. I have to trust that it will work out and that God has a plan for this situation. It’s not easy to do, but I am going to try to give it over to the Lord each day and walk with Him through this struggle, keeping my eyes on Him just like Peter when he was able to walk on the water.
As soon as we get consumed by the storm, that’s when we fall. We aren’t called to carry the weight of the world. We aren’t called to save people. Jesus came to be our savior. We are called to ask the Lord to transform us each day and to trust Him completely as little children trust their parents. So let’s be little ones, clinging to our Father, trusting that He will take care of it all.