Savior Complex

Jesus is savior.

Why is that little phrase so hard to grasp, so hard to accept, so hard to believe? Why is it that I still try to take everything on myself? Why do I still think I am capable of everything myself? Why do I try to make myself the super hero?

I have a heart that yearns for people to know they are loved, to know their worth, to know they are welcome. I long for everyone to know how much the Lord desires them and how much the Church needs them.

Those are all really great and good desires, but the reality is that I can’t save people. I can try my darndest. I can focus every moment of every day on others and drawing them in. I can love them and serve them. I can listen to their problems and be a shoulder for them to cry on. I can give them the best advice. But no matter how much I try, I cannot save a single person.

There is only one Savior in all of history and His name is Jesus Christ. He alone paid the price and He alone changes hearts. He alone is Healer, Consoler, Friend. Jesus Christ is the Savior of the world, the one who made it possible for us to be in relationship with the Father.

While this seems obvious, especially for someone who works for the Church, to recognize Jesus as savior, it’s much easier said than done. It’s so easy to get caught up in the day to day struggles. It’s easy to get discouraged by negativity and push back. I get stuck in the present and the fact that the present isn’t exactly what I wished it looked like. I have a vision for how I want things to look and when it doesn’t look that way I start to give up. All I can see is how I’m failing, how it seems like an impossible task. And the truth is, it is impossible, for me.

Not sure if you noticed, but that last paragraph was sure full of a lot of I and me. I can try everything in the book, but until I am able to introduce others to Jesus nothing will change. The reality is that Jesus has to be at the center of everything I do. Without Him, nothing I do is worthwhile, without Him nothing I do will make any difference. Sure, maybe someone will feel loved for a moment, maybe someone will make a better decision, but until they meet Jesus Christ the end result will be the same.

The truth is that it is impossible for me to change hearts. It’s impossible for me to convince someone to live differently and it’s impossible for me to fix everything. Christianity doesn’t make any sense if I make it all about me. The only way it makes sense is when I allow Jesus to work through me and in me and lead others to Him, not to me. When I allow Jesus into the problem, He becomes the solution.

You see, it’s easy to get stuck in the trap of making ministry about me. But to minister is to answer a call from Christ. It’s not a call to be awesome, beloved, or adored by others. It’s not a call to be superman or superwoman. It’s a call to love others with Christ’s love and first and foremost lead them to Him and let Him do the work. I just have to learn how to get out of the way and let Jesus be the savior that He is.