I’ve been thinking a lot of this post I wrote a week after my grandma passed away. My grandpa, her husband, just passed last week and we just finished up the visitation and funeral yesterday. It’s such a strange transition from the obvious mourning period to the learning how to mourn while trying to do every day things.
This time around I went to work in between my grandpa passing and the visitation and funeral so I had time to do my regular routine before now, but it still feels really weird to go back to how things were before. It feels wrong. And yet, what else is there to do? We have to keep going. We have to keep moving forward with our lives, even if it makes us sad that our loved one can’t move forward with us in the same way they did before.
I know that my grandpa hasn’t stopped living, not really, he is just living differently now. He has entered eternal life and that is a beautiful thing. But this time of separation between us and him, and my grandma, it feels heavy. This separation feels wrong – because God didn’t intend things to be this way in the beginning. This isn’t how things were supposed to be. We still have hope because of the promise of Heaven, but this in between time where some of us are on Earth and some of us are in Heaven isn’t supposed to feel okay. We were supposed to live with God eternally without any separation until the Fall of Adam and Eve. With Jesus’ sacrifice we are able to enter eternal life once more but until Jesus comes again we have this gap.
It’s hard to adjust back to living normally because this isn’t normal, for any of us. But here we are having to go back, having to continue on. I have been comforted by the fact that I know my grandpa is at peace. I have hope that I will see him, and my grandma, again in Heaven. I even experience peace because through prayer and especially at Mass I know that I am able to be close to them even now, but it still won’t be the same. I’m especially grateful for my faith in times like this because it gives me hope when everything feels wrong. God is faithful. He is with us even in difficult times when it all is a mess. He is with us and He mourns with us but He also reminds us that this isn’t forever. There is a brighter future for all of us, when we will all live in eternal bliss, with no sadness or pain – in Heaven together. I look forward to that day, when things won’t feel as heavy, but until then I am choosing to keep fighting the good fight for what else is there to do?