Remember who you are

We all experience times when we start to question ourselves. We start to wonder if we made the right  choices or said the right things. If we let it get out of control we can end up down a rabbit hole of self doubt and self pity. We end up completely forgetting who we are, who we thought we were at least.

The last couple days I’ve been experiencing a little bit of an identity crisis. I’ve been struggling with feeling lost and I was starting to wonder about my decision to leave the sisters. Just in a very superficial way. I’ve been missing them and living in community quite a bit, so it’s a natural reaction.

When we get in these spots of doubt and struggle often we want to hide from God. We seek out other ways of trying to satisfy or distract ourselves from our pain. For me a lot of times that means having that extra snack I don’t need or watching another episode on netflix even though I’ve already watched plenty. We think we’re too much to handle, that God doesn’t need to be bothered with our little problems. We think we’ve just got to be annoying God, always coming to Him with our doubts and questioning.

After two days of feeling out of sorts, I finally took my feelings to the Lord today. While I was explaining to Him everything that was going on, I had this image that I really identified with. It was of a little girl asking her Dad over and over again, day after day, ‘do you love me?’ And the Dad not getting annoyed, but cherishing the moment of getting to tell His daughter how much He loves her every single day. Sometimes we just need reminded that we’re loved. We need reminded that we are chosen, forgiven, saved, free. We need reminded that we are claimed, we are His. And you know what? God knows that sometimes we just need to be reminded and it’s okay with Him. He wants to remind us if only we give Him the opportunity.

I know this is the case because after I sat with this image for awhile, and really bared my soul to the Lord, I opened up a devotional I use called Jesus Calling by Sarah Young and this is how the devotion for the day began:

“You are mine for all time- and beyond time, into eternity. No power can deny you your inheritance in Heaven. I want you to realize how utterly secure you are! Even if you falter as you journey through life, I will never let go of your hand.”

I asked the Lord to remind me who I am and He did. He told me that I am His. The Lord never tires of reminding us who we are and whose we are. Our problems and emotions and doubts aren’t too much for Him. He sees our wounds and loves us, not despite them, but in them. He loves us, warts and all. So my advise to you, and to myself, is to stop trying to hide from the Lord. Let Him see where your hurting and let Him remind you who you are.

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