I’ve really been struggling lately with being a youth minister. In my heart, I know that it is not what the Lord has called me to do with my life. And knowing that, it is so difficult to stay committed to the job that is in front of me. I am struggling to be enthusiastic and even to be motivated to keep working toward the goal. However, tonight I was struck by an insight that I wanted to expound on.
Regardless of the Lord’s call in my life, I am committed to be working as a youth minister for the next year. Whether I am accepted by the T.O.R.s or not I will be a youth minister for this next school year. For that reason, I need to accept and keep moving forward. The interesting thing that was pointed out to me tonight was, if there is no other option beyond being a youth minister this year, then it must be the Lord’s will for me to be in this ministry this year. And if it is in His will then who am I to challenge it?
This really struck me because one of the draws for me to religious life is the fact that with the vow of obedience I can be sure that no matter what I am doing I am in the Lord’s will because He placed me in that religious order under that superior who is giving me my mission for that set period of time. By making the vow of obedience I never have to question whether I am doing what the Lord wants me to do, I can be completely sure.
However, when I’ve thought about that I’ve always thought that it would make life so much easier. I would know I am doing the Lord’s will and because of that things would work out. But maybe that’s not so true. Just because I’m doing the Lord’s will doesn’t mean that things are going to be perfect or even that things are going to be easy. The only thing it means is that whatever I am doing will draw me closer to the Lord.
So with this next year, I need to remember that even if it’s not on my heart, the Lord wants me in this ministry. And whether it’s easy or super difficult He is going to use this next year to draw me even closer to Him. Because of that I need to accept this year with the struggles and successes, the good and the bad, knowing that no matter what the Lord is with me, perfecting me, and making me more into the person He created me to be. I need to make an effort to wake up every morning saying yes to the Lord’s will, whatever that may be, regardless of whether I feel like doing it, or whether it’s enjoyable or easy or whatever I want it to be. I need to let go of my own will and accept His.